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Swipet

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Everything posted by Swipet

  1. So does this mean KU commits should be referred to as Kunts?
  2. If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with BOFA. Please seek medical attention immediately. Side effects include but are not limited to, a lack of self-awareness, spiritual awakening, and/or waking up in peoples homes.
  3. [Young] Pro Bowl OT John Alfred (65080) [Young] Pro Bowl C Raul Hallett (65266) [Vet] Pro Bowl RB Ronnie Jefferson (40441) [Prime] Starter QB Jeremiah West (55522) [Prime] Starter ILB Russell Craw (56599) [Young] Starter WR Antonio Campoverde (60346) [Young] Starter OT Richard Farris (60991) [Prime] Starter OG Nicolas Conti (51540) [Young] Starter S Brian Johnson (70004) Below Average OG Stephen Gibson (66409) Below Average TE Horace Allen (26598) Below Average WR Steven Fisher (60742) Below Average WR Anthony Redd (68251) Below Average SS Anthony Feintuch (70322) Below Average SS Oscar Reyes (66525) Below Average RB Charles Bieber (60835) Below Average QB Geroge Price (30747) Below Average P Mauel Bonilla (71292) Below Average OT Peter Cape (71543) Below Average OT Dennis Burke (67241) Below Average OLB Chrisopher Demoss (70000) Below Average OLB Young Lai (61354) Below Average OLB Kevin Campbell (42085) Below Average OLB Daniel Sloan (27330) Below Average OG Maximiliano Espinosa (31032) Below Average OG Luis Rocha (70621) Below Average OG Dennis Porter (48283) Below Average K Daniel Mares (27194) Below Average ILB John Elayan (40587) Below Average ILB Thomas Bomba (61279) Below Average ILB Robert Tappa (47158) Below Average FS John Eley (55723) Below Average FS Andrzej Parker (53383) Below Average FS Ryan Jelinski (47909) Below Average FB Shawn Howlett (48325) Below Average FB Marvin Hill (44821) Below Average DT Lance Nguyen (70102) Below Average DT Jason Britz (58734) Below Average DT Thomas Bowen (28587) Below Average DE David Eck (62369) Below Average DE Nathan Williams (37621) Below Average DE Timothy Cabiness (34024) Below Average DE Ralph Hernandez (62912) Below Average CB Milo Smith (26563) Below Average CB Ralph Cornelius (60563) Below Average CB Lanny Medlin (32480) Below Average CB Jason Earley (32044) Below Average CB Ben Andrews (39533) Below Average CB Herbert Pergerson (67090) Below Average WR Timothy Jones (49755) Below Average WR Anthony Finch (59118) Below Average WR David Rosen (33514) Below Average ILB Lawrence Prejean (52068) Below Average DT Robert Patient (34232) Below Average C Miguel Mendias (47470)
  4. If you are viewing very attractive people in a sexual manner. Please use incognito mode.
    1. alexfall862

      alexfall862

      I'm wearing a trenchcoat and glasses, is that incognito mode?
    2. Vivid

      Vivid

      Oh no here comes the yank police
  5. BigXII Rumor Mill: Expansion Edition An article by Swipet Media Corp. The recent announcement of Oklahoma and Texas applying for membership for the Southeastern conference has caught the College football world by storm, especially how it came to fruition in a few short weeks. The Sooners and Longhorns bring large fan bases and world-class talent to the already leading football conference in America. But what happens to the conference that they are leaving? Well, it’s complicated. News quickly circled following every rumor that certain teams are in talks with other conferences for membership and other teams are trying to jostle their way into a position into a power five conference. To simply put it, the conference is small but has a lot of potential for “aggressive” expansion. Following are the schools that are rumored to be leading the charge for a seat at the table. Cincinnati Bearcats: A Ohio school in a major metropolitan area with a winning tradition would make an excellent addition to the conference. Closing the gap to West Virginia in terms of geography, the Bearcats would definitely be one of the most likely candidates in the near future. University of Central Florida: One of the newer universities on this list is also one of the largest enrolments in the country as they have over 60,000 students with a large majority of their Alumni base still dwelling in the land of the living. They still have a ways to go facility wise and on the football field, but they do have a great foundation on being in Florida and are constantly growing by the year. If you put the Knights in a power conference and on major television networks, you could make this school a major player in the college football world in a few decades. University of South Florida: Given the same reasons as their central brethren, they are in a major football region and are constantly growing. They still dont have the tradition as FSU, Miami or even Florida Atlantic but given time they can become a player along with UCF. Florida State/Clemson: Fearing the power of the SEC slowly starting to push these schools down, they have voiced their concerns to the ACC administration to no avail. Would this give them a reason to bolt for a sinking ship? Probably not, but given the right circumstances and media deals could make them consider it. Tulsa: You can’t tell the story of college football without mentioning the Golden Hurricane in the first paragraph. They are already in the BigXII footprint and would solidify Oklahoma as a BigXII state. Adding this powerhouse to the BigXII would be a massive move that would put Tulsa in the eyes of more college football fans across the nation and by how they are dominating the competition of the AAC, they would easily compete for more national titles in the future. Rumor also has it that coach Acewolf already has deep ties to the conference and some BigXII members have been quoted behind closed doors saying they would “do whatever it takes” to bring the university of Tulsa to the conference. Stay tuned for more realignment news and rumors in this always changing landscape of college football.
  6. BigXII Offices of Administration Dallas, Texas We here at the BigXII office of the legitimate SimFBA™ league have discovered some shocking information. That 2 of our members have been BACKSTABING us in talking to an inferior conference that is knows as the Southeastern Conference about future membership. Some of these schools have been either a founding member of the conference since the Big8 days or WAS THROWN A LIFELINE during the demise of the Southwest conference (rip). We as the BigXII conference do not take kindly to this movement and are proactively working with our favorite site admin @Rocketcan to seek punishment of either monitary or outright embarisment or a bit of both. For closing words I think I speak for our members in unison and say: Signed, The Big8 If rocketcan doesn't want to do anything that we demand we all know that our true favorite admin is @subsequent and we will be talking soon boo
  7. Points don't mean everything. Only when you have more of them than the other team Won 30-20 vs Texas Absolute suffocating defense propelled the Bears defense to victory Friday night as they harassed the Texas offense and did not allow them very much after the first quarter. Another great performance was had by Baylor WR Josh Lauvao who caught 10 passes for 244 yards and 3 scores that kept the Bears ahead for most of the night. :texas: Offense? We don't need Offense Lost 20-30 @ Baylor It almost seems that Texas overlooked their opponent after taking an early 7-3 lead and assumed that their offense would keep them humming along. After having a fantastic first 3 games I would not blame them for being so confident in that. But this time, their opponent came ready and prepared to play and forced the Longhorn office into their weaknesses in a great game plan. The defense tried their best to keep the offense in the game and even forced 3 turnovers with a short field but the offense was simply not up to that challenge. :kansas: The team that keeps winning that nobody knows if they are legit or not Won 20-17 @ Iowa State The Jayhawks are the most improved BigXII team from week 1 to week 4 as they look like a more complete and balanced team since their game against Houston. Ian Morgan came out of the locker room after halftime on fire as he put up two solid touchdown passes to his tight end and wide receiver. They still have a ways to go to seriously compete for a conference championship but they are definitely on the right track. :iowastate: Maybe growing Corn was a bad idea Lost 17-20 vs Kansas A couple of plays was all it took for the Cyclones to be handed a loss and both plays are on the shoulders of QB Ian Morgan as he threw two picks in this game. The defensive effort was good as they never gave up big plays and played the field position game but those crucial mistakes were huge in the outcome. :kansasstate: Just don't look at the opponent's records but we are undefeated and want to be taken seriously Won 34-6 vs West Virginia It was the Brandon Smith show Saturday night as he threw for over 400 yards and 4 scores in securing a blowout win in their first BigXII conference game. There were some miscues and overthrows but once his receivers got their hands on the ball, it was usually for a large gain. The defense locked down the Mountaineer offense and made them one-dimensional forcing them to to the running game which isn't the best sign if you’re down 0-34 entering the 4th. :westvirginia: Trick plays? Trick plays Lost 6-34 @ Kansas State Something needs to happen to the West Virginia roster in order for them to be competitive. They looked lost out on the field except for RB Pasoni Adames who had the best performance on his team but outside that, it’s not looking good. West Virginia has the tools to succeed and they just need time to figure out their strengths and apply those to a great game plan for them to win a conference game this year. :tcu: Horny Toads mow down illegal settlers Won 20-7 @ Oklahoma Somehow TCU put themselves back into the BigXII race by doing a 180 from previous weeks and upsetting Oklahoma in Norman. QB Luke Trahan looked very much in control of the offense as he efficiently ate his way into the OU secondary leading to 2 TDs on a night when the run offense was simply not working. The defense did the exact same and kept the Sooner run game in check and swarmed to the ball once the ball was in the air. A great scheme and game plan from the TCU coaching staff helped the Horned frogs secure this victory. :oklahoma: This is the game you will forget by next week but you cant remove it from your soul Lost 7-20 vs TCU Sometimes you have a bad night and that's what happened this week. TCU had a great game plan and forced the issue that OU did very little to counter. The run defense was incredible allowing less than one yard a carry but the passing defense allowed TCU to march downfield on key drives to put points on the board that the Sooners did very little about. Hopefully, they can get their offense rolling by next week.
  8. :iowastate: The realization you have to score points to win Won 29-25 vs Mississippi State It was a barn burner in Ames with the Cyclones dodging and weaving their way to victory due to a 16 point blitz in the third quarter. QB Russell Latimer was the main driver of the cyclone offense as he had 188 yards through the air and 145 on the ground. The Bulldog defense somehow was trying to focus on RB Jaylen Lengel and was still failing at that task as Lengel ran for 145 yards and a score. The Bulldog offense had some good balance as they torched the Iowa state secondary and had some success on the ground. But it was the two turnovers with great field position that allowed Iowa State to secure the victory. :kansas: You either die the turnover or live long enough to become the turnover Won 27-24 @ Ball State A successful twist in any story is when the antagonist overcomes conflict and has personal growth. You could say that rule also applies to the University of Kansas football team as they went from giving up 4 turnovers in week 1 to forcing 4 against the Cardinals friday night. QB Ian Morgan also helped the cause by having an efficient performance through the air with 3 TDs. Ian was helped by Bene Humber who rushed for an absolute errotic 88 yards on 22 carries for a solid 4 yards per carry. Math nerds were absolutely taken by this performance and consistently left for the bathroom to “relieve” themselves (poor custodians). The 24 point first half and second half defensive adjustments allowed Kansas to secure their first victory of the season. :westvirginia: Hey Siri. Play Country Roads while I drive off a cliff. Lost 14-34 vs Marshall What did you have to do Friday night? Did you spend time with your family, call your mother, or play a board game? Either of these activities and many more would have been a better use of your time than watching the West Virignia-Marshall game. But since this is a write up piece, I am obligated to write about the game but I do warn you it’s not for the faint of heart. The Offense was garbage as they had extreme trouble trying to surpass the 100 yard mark and barely accomplished the feat by the end of the game. Marshall sliced the mountaineer defense like a burning car through a crowd of pedestrians. QB Joran Key threw the long ball like it owed him money and scored 3 TDs while the ground game abused the defense physically by running for over 300 yards with an average of over 5 yards a clip. :texastech: This is a cry for help. Make this stop. Lost 9-13 @ Michigan State It’s only a theory but hear me out. On Friday night, West Virginia absolutely got destroyed by Marshall and somewhere in a Lansing bar, coaches @rcarlson77 hatched a fantastic plan with this idea. “If West Virginia sucked this bad, let's do the opposite so we will be good!”. Sounds great on paper is what the assistant coaches chimed in while their boss hatched this plan at 2 am. Rumors of this new unstoppable game plan reached the football offices of Michigan State who had their engineering department dissect and reverse-engineer the West Virginia game plan and had the world's greatest minds develop a game plan to counter the West Virginia game plan that was the opposite of the West Virginia game plan. But both teams did not realize the incomprehensible truth. The West Virginia game plan that was executed to perfection Friday night was absolute dogshit that no good can come from it. Trying to inverse this game plan what already and was going to be shit is going to also be shit as follows West_V_GamePlan == “SHIT” Texas_T_GamePlan == West_V_GamePlan - “SHIT” Michigan_State_Gameplan == Texas_T_Gameplan - “SHIT” COMPUTATIONAL ERROR: TEXAS_T_GAMEPLAN CANNOT =/ “SHIT” COMPUTATIONAL ERROR: MICHIGAN_STATE_GAMEPLAN CANNOT =/ “SHIT” So therefore with Science and Math. We explained why the Texas Tech and Michigan State Football game was doomed to fail from the start. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Speedrunning the Lou Groza Award Lost 12-13 vs SMU After the tragedies that occurred before them. The Baylor Bears vowed to play differently and they did to a point. With an excellent defensive game plan, they closed any throwing lanes that SMU QB Jamar Jimenez had and destroyed the SMU running game by only allowing 52 yards total. But Mustangs had the same game plan for the Bears too. Baylor QB had some good throws here and there but never actually sustained a TD drive after the first quarter. The bears lost due to an extra point which means you can cross that one off if you’re playing SIMFBA bingo. :oklahomastate: The Matt Howard Show - Coming to PBS Lost 7-33 @ Florida State The Poke coaching staff drew up their game plan around one thesis statement. STOP MATT HOWARD. Even by being paid millions of dollars per year, they barely accomplished that. Matt Howard threw for a ridiculous 62 times for 503 yards and 4 scores. Oklahoma State tried to limit possessions and kill time by running the ball that resulted in some success, but the passing game behind QB Matthias Reed let the rest of the offense down as Florida State throttled the team from Stillwater 33-7. :tcu: Success on one play. Not so much on the others Lost 7-24 @ Duke There was a collapse in the Matrix in Durham, North Carolina Saturday afternoon. During the first quarter, Duke QB Teddy Ezechukwu who is also on the Heisman name list threw an interception that was returned to the Duke endzone. Should be a touchdown right? Wrong. The TCU offense trotted out and actually ran an entire play in the duke endzone that resulted in an incompletion as the designated WR ran into a wall. The officiating crew threw more gas onto the fire by calling an unnecessary roughness penalty on Duke CB Shakir Webb who was sitting on top of the field goal posts at the time of the play. After a 20 minute discussion with both head coaches, the officials admitted their mistake and awarded TCU a one-time penalty kick for one point. The rest of the game went off without a hitch as Duke cruised to a 24-7 victory. :texas: Had a competent performance Won 31-30 vs Rice Texas did not skip a beat offensively as they diced the Rice defense like Bok Choy. QB John Saffold missed on a lot of his throws but the ones he connected on, went for large gains or touchdowns. A complete performance by going for over 500 yards of total offense gave the longhorns a 24 point second quarter. Rice also had a great game by shockingly going from their future Heisman-winning RB Mike Calhoun and opt for more of a passing offensive play calling. This switch worked dividends in Rice’s favor as their WRs were able to exploit their one on one matchups with the Texas corners and move the ball efficiently. Mike Calhoun tried to make a difference with his limited snaps and did so by rushing for 7 yards a carry and 2 scores. Rice almost tried to make this a game in the 4th but Texas sealed the deal by finishing with a field goal.
  9. :iowastate: Got Blanked at home to a WAC team Lost 0-17 vs Fresno State The Defense stepped up this game and allowed 17 yards of rushing. Usually, this is a sign of a great overall performance, but the defense also got torched by the passing game that allowed Fresno’s running back JC Lacy to run wild all afternoon for over 200 yards. The Cyclone offense averaged 1.75 completions per QUARTER as Russell Latimer went 7 for 20 for 51 yards and a pick that set up Fresno with 8 yards to go for a TD. After that pick, it seemed like Latimer was simply out of it and struggled to hit his receivers for the remainder of the game. The rushing attack tried their best to pick up the slack but Fresno countered it very well and allowed under 4 yards a carry. :westvirginia: Blew a 7 point lead Lost 14-16 vs Washington State WVU came out ready to play on both sides of the ball starting with a 3-out on defense followed up by an efficient 8 play drive capped with a touchdown. After that, the cougar defense adapted and shut down most mountaineer drives and allowed one touchdown the remainder of the game. The Washington State rushing attack was the star of the show as running back Chris Tilson carved out the mountaineer defense and averaged 7.65 yards per carry that allowed the Cougars to slowly claw their way back into this game and sealed the victory with a field goal with 4:34 remaining in the 4th. :kansasstate: Putting the K in Field Goal Won 15-7 vs Nebraska Johnny McAllister is a motherfucking G by going 5 for 5 and solely beat Nebraska with their big toe. Yes, I'm very biased. The Nebraska defense did a very good job of forcing third downs and not allowing the big play. They did their job by giving up field goals instead of touchdowns. Unfortunately, the offense took a while to get going by going 3 and out on their first 3 drives. It was a game where it seemed like either team did not want to win and the special teams was the determining factor in the outcome. :oklahoma: Doing what good teams do. Win Won 35-23 at Auburn The best performance this week went to the Oklahoma Sooners that traveled to a rowdy Jordan-Hare and solidly beat the Tigers by double figures. It started off a little shaky as Oklahoma quarterback David Paul fired a pass into Auburn’s Tyler Schult’s hands for an interception. Fortunately Oklahoma Free Saftey Warner Thompson returned the favor and picked off a pass two plays later and housed it for six. After that, the Sooner offense looked very crisp as the passing game torched the secondary for over 300 yards followed by a solid ground attack that kept the Tiger defense on its toes all night. :kansas: The turnover chain is for when you get a turnover, not give Lost 20-24 vs Houston In the game of football, you try to keep the football away from the other team and try to take it to the endzone. Apparently that news did not reach Lawrence as Kansas’ QB Jeff Maeda gladly gave the ball to three different Houston players during the first half of the game. Fellow running back Bene Humber was missing out on the fun and thus fumbled the ball in the third quarter. Other than those miscues through the first 3 quarters of the game, the Jayhawks made things interesting and put up a 10 point 4th quarter. Unfortunately, Houston did that same feat as well and was very thankful as they left town with a victory after a mediocre performance. :tcu: If you only give up field goals, you’ll probably win (except if you grow inferior crops like corn) Won 30-9 vs Toledo The best performance this week went to the horned frogs as they gave very little to the Toledo offense and found a way to dice up the defense with their aerial attack by QB Luke Trahan. The defense was in the backfield consistently as they had 7 tackles for loss and allowed under 200 yards of total offense. It could have been a beatdown but the TCU offense had a habit of stalling once they hit the red zone and settled for 5 field goals. :texas: Points are fun Won 47-34 at BYU Texas unleashed their high-powered passing attack Saturday Night in Provo as they racked up 47 points in 4 quarters of play. QB John Saffold is the leading candidate for conference player of the year after throwing for over 500 yards with 5 touchdowns. He could easily have had more if Texas did not settle for 4 field goals. Defensive end Dallas Dobbs was an absolute wrecking ball totaling 8 tackles on the night. BYU’s offense did definitely try to make it a game, dicing their way through the Texas defense for 4 touchdowns but the Texas offense was too much to overcome. :texastech: Solomon McGlouglan ain’t walking through that door Lost 17-20 vs Wisconsin Tech had an excellent game plan for the badgers and tried their best to slow down their passing attack. The Badgers made some excellent halftime adjustments and ended the game on a 17-7 run to avoid the upset. The tech offense was very run-heavy as the running back ran for 175 yards and a score but was let down by a passing attack that could not manage to cross the 5 yards per attempt mark. Texas State champs shirt still in play Won 27-20 vs Texas State Baylor held their ground against an in-state rival. The Bear's passing attack was very efficient as QB Evan Cooper went for 357 yards and 4 TDs with no picks. The Bobcats knew who their best player was and made sure everyone knew it was Ryan Johnson as he ran for over 200 yards and 2 scores. The Baylor defense tried their best to corral the Heisman front runner and did a very good job of limiting the passing attack sealing the victory.
  10. Hey Siri. Play Guci Flip-flops
  11. Swipet and Kansas State are 100% in Discord: Swippetty#2122
  12. Me seeing that the outputs are in csv format
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